I know, I know. I've been a lazy ass ho. Spring Break came and provided me with much needed sleep, and my teachers are all cruel so they made the week after Spring Break the time for all the tests, papers, quizzes, and big homework assignments. Blame them for no posts, not me! Plus two of my cousins are getting married soon (not to each other, my last name isn't Dollanganger. Or Foxworth. Or Cutler. Or Tatterton. Or Tate. Or...well, you get the picture.) so I've had wedding showers and crap to go to, and I really need/want a new pair of shoes to go with my dress, and oh yeah, I'm going to be an aunt! I'll have a little nephew in August to read SVH and BSC to at bedtime. Best aunt ever!
Since I feel obligated to do something, I'll make a new poll! Cathy took 42% of your votes in March's biggest ho contest, with Jessica Wakefield in second at 32%, Mrs. Pike in third with 13%, and Stacey McGill bringing up the rear (hee!) with 11%. Go Cathy, and watch out for the herp!
So, after much pondering (or not), our question for April is actually not sarcastic or mean spirited. Well, maybe it is a little. I usually call people I love my hoes, so I want to know, who is your main (fictional) ho?
Sabrina Wells - Anyone who wears baggy gym shorts with neon tights deserves to win. Plus she must be super nice, because she continues to hang out with boring ass Allison. Ugh, just typing that name is putting me to sleep. Think happy Sabrina thoughts! I totally want to lay around Sabrina's sweet attic room and read back issues of CosmoGirl with her. I'd probably hit on Sam, too, but that's another story.
Lila Fowler - Damn I love Lila. She's beautiful, rich, perfect, and knows it. She also manages to be popular even though she's a lowly brunette. She has a kickass mansion that's so big you could probably hide out in one of the guest rooms for a few months without anyone noticing, too. Ooh, and if you want a new expensive blue scarf, she'll totally shoplift one for you. She also almost got Mr. Collins fired by accusing him of molesting her. *EDIT: I screwed up! She didn't accuse Mr. Collins, she accused her therapist. She's still awesome, though. Thanks to Morgan for pointing this out!* Is there anything actually bad about this girl?
Claudia Kishi - It's my personal opinion that Claudia is a way cooler dresser than Stacey, because she just doesn't give a shit. Matching is a concept that Claudia has never heard of (neither is Phonics), and I kind of like to picture her getting up every morning, putting on a blindfold, and grabbing random articles of clothing and accessories and putting them on and working it. Stacey could never pull off dressing like a watermelon or a Ms. Frizzle. NEVER!
Olivia Winfield Foxworth a.k.a. TG - TG's the coolest granny around! She could've turned her negligee-loving daughter and 4 kids out on the streets, but instead let them stay in her awesome mansion. And come on, she was as disgusted by the prospect of incest as we were, and tried to beat it out of Chris and Cathy. Too bad it didn't work. She also had a sweet dollhouse as a little girl, and you know if she let Corinne and all her brats play with it we totally could, too. She'd even get up early every day and prepare a whole day's worth of food for you, and warn you against eating Corinne's special doughnuts. TG rocks!
Voting ends May 1!