Thursday, May 1, 2008

Poll for May

Sorry for being lax on the posting, I started a recap Monday and still haven't finished it! I've only had one class the week (every morning), but it's my most difficult one and we had a test and a handout and shit due, plus our final is Monday. I'll probably be better at posting again once my final is over and I have no obligations.

So, on to the poll! TG and Sabrina didn't stand a chance, even though I voted for Sabrina like 5 times. Lila and Claudia started off head to head, but then Claudia blew past and totally killed everyone in a flurry of Ms. Frizzles, paint, Twinkies, and bad spelling. Go Claudia!

So here's my new question for May: Which V.C. Andrews male is the creepiest? I mean, they all have their faults, but which one really makes your skin crawl? There's like a million answers to choose from, and I didn't even think about every series! Here are our nominees:

Chris Dollanganger (2): This is the younger Chris, who relentlessly pursued Cathy and couldn't take a hint. We all know about his gross ways.

Tony Tatterton: My, how Tony loves his wife, Jillian! In fact, he loves her so much that he rapes her daughter, Leigh, and then is all obsessed with both the daughter (Heaven) and granddaughter (Annie) that resulted from that rape. He does die the absolute best death in V.C. Andrews history, if I recall correctly (I may not be since I hated this book so much that I can't remember if he died or just passed out): he's laying on a couch in a woman's nightgown. Love!

Philip Cutler: Likes to rape his sister, Dawn, and her daughter, Christie. He was best man at his sister's wedding and mouthed the I do to her, like he was marrying her. He also made his buttugly wife dye her hair like his sister and he occasionally liked to sleep with one of his sister's nightgowns doused in her perfume spread out beside him. Philip's fucked up.

Malcolm Foxworth (1): This is TG's husband, and believe me, she needed to be giving him forty lashes. Malcolm had a really unhealthy obsession with his mom, the first Corinne, that we never got to go into (Someone figure out how to resurrect V.C. Andrews and have her write a story from the first Corinne's POV). He also raped his stepmom repeatedly and was way too controlling with his daughter that resulted from that rape, slutbag Corinne.

Cal Dennison: Bought Heaven from her father (no, seriously!) and then proceeded to do her like crazy. I know Heaven's white trash and all, but come on, Cal!

Jimmy Longchamp: Yet another sister lover. I know Dawn turned out not to be his real sister, but they thought they were brother and sister for like 14 years, so that's gross as hell.

Jed Booth: Raped his adopted daughter, Lillian, and was an all-around angry bitch.

Cary Logan: Um, peephole into his twin sister's room? Disgusting! Then he gets all grab-assy with Melody, who is kind of sort of not really his cousin. Forget about that and just think about the peephole into Laura's room.

Roy Arnold: See Jimmy Longchamp, but replace Dawn with Rain.

Bart Winslow (1): One of Cathy's many lovers. Though he wasn't technically related to her (he was her stepfather but they had never met before), he still came off as a creepy asshole who can't hold his load.

Bart Winslow (2): Cathy and Bart Winslow's son. His last name may not be Winslow, I can't remember. Whatever. It's insinuated that he totally did something to his adopted sister. Oh, and let's not forget his crazy (literally) childhood!

Julian Marquet: Julian likes little girls. Gross! At least he tried to break up Cathy and Chris.

Arden Lowe: Yeah, Arden's not related to Audrina in any way, but something about him creeped me out. Maybe it was the fact that he knew the truth about Audrina's past and went along with the lies, maybe it was the fact that he wanted to have sex with a girl he knew was gang-raped, maybe it was the fact that he was doing Vera while Audrina was in a coma, I don't know. I just don't like him.

Damian Adare: Audrina's father, who is fucking weird. I can't even get into it without ruining the story, but those of you who have read it know what I mean.

Paul Tate: Yet ANOTHER sister lover. Half-sister, actually, but still. He and Ruby cut their relationship off after finding out they're related, but he still wants her hardcore. He does a little role-playing after they get married (don't ask) and they have sex. Role-playing or sham marriage or not, sex with your sister is nasty.

Or you can choose all of them, because I know it's a tough decision.

Voting ends June 1!


emmjm said...

That real-life Austrian dude with who kept his daughter locked up for years really makes VC Andrews look ripped from the headlines, huh?

snappleaddict said...

So true. It's frightening how many news stories look like they could be in one of the books.