Anyway, my crappy library still had a few of this series left, so I decided to start at the first one. This book isn't as great as the rest of them because it's mostly just introducing the characters, but there's still some bitchy Becky tricks. Awesome.
So, this book is narrated by Lauren Baca, and opens with her in the car being driven to her first gymnastics class by her best friend Cindi Jockett's older brother. Lauren informs us that Cindi's whole family is athletic, but that she (Lauren) isn't really. She says that she and Cindi used to take gymnastics lessons together, but she worried she wouldn't be good enough so she quit. Lauren also claims that everything is a proven fact. I don't know how I feel about Lauren, she's kind of annoying, but not too bad. Lauren describes herself as short and not skinny, but not fat, more muscular. She has her hair in a short pixie cut. Cindi, however, is really tall, which sucks for a gymnast. Haha, for once my lack of height would come in handy for a sport!
Blah blah, they arrive and the place looks like a total secret child molester factory, being that it's a dilapidated old warehouse. They meet a tall black girl named Darlene in the front. Lauren describes Darlene's hair as really short on one side, but long on the other. Hawt! Darlene is also wearing purple lipstick and nailpolish. It's a proven fact that she might look like she got in a fight with some grape juice, but Lauren thinks she looks sophisticated. Uh-oh, Ann M. Martin's favorite word!
Anyway, they go and change and Lauren is wearing by far the sexiest leotard ever, no joke. It's pink with gold and green butterflies, but Lauren describes them as not sweet little butterflies but "giant flying insects parading across her chest." Super sexy! It's a proven fact that I love giant flying insects on my boobies! Not.
So the trio comes out of the locker room and immediately get a video camera shoved in their faces. If you think that sucks, wait until you read about the biotch on the other side. That biotch would be Becky, who is really pretty, really awesome at gymnastics, and a complete asshat. I can totally picture Becky as having bitchface. Indeed, it's a proven fact that Becky has bitchface. Also, her last name is Dyson, and I totally picture a vacuum cleaner every time. Hee.
The girls meet the fourth member of their team, a girl named Jodi whose mother is the other gymnastics coach there. It's a proven fact that nepotism will get Jodi on the team. Eh, maybe, not, Jodi's supposed to be good but just has no control. It's a proven fact that Jodi has some attention issues, as she feels she basically needs an engraved invitation when Lauren invites the other girls to her house later on.
Patrick, their coach, sounds pretty hot. It's a proven fact that I'd hit that. He tests the girls on their abilities, and Lauren sucks, but Patrick thinks she has potential. He forms the four girls in one team, which he calls the Pinecones, because they're the lowest level at the Evergreen Gymnastics Academy. It's a proven fact that the name is half clever, half dumb.
At a different practice a few weeks later, Becky hands Lauren a tape she made of all the times she messed up. Becky sucks. Lauren turns it around on her, though, by telling Becky it was a great learning experience and making all of Becky's friends jealous. It's a proven fact that Lauren kind of rocked there. Darlene confesses in private to the other Pinecones that her father is some fictional famous football player and he uses tapes of his mistakes to learn from all the time.
The Pinecones work harder, and soon it's time for their first exhibition for their parents, showcasing what they know. They'll also be evaluated and given scores by judges. Becky the ho tells Lauren to bends her arms during the vault and to use lots of chalk. It's a proven fact that bending your arms will not propel you over the vault and that lots of chalk dust will cause you to slide. Lauren doesn't fall for the first one, but does for the second. She slides and totally crashes. I'd kick Becky in the face, but Lauren just gets up and does her second vault awesomely. I guess that's good revenge, too, but a kick in the face is sometimes necessary. Lauren does get Becky back by putting tons of chalk dust on her hands and slapping Becky on the ass of her green leotard right before she has to perform. It's a proven fact that now everyone knows Lauren groped Becky, but they all laugh because of the chalk mark instead. Becky slips on her ass, and I laugh.
Front cover. From left: Jodi, Darlene, Cindi, and Lauren. Cindi has some massive side ponytail, man. She is rocking that thing. Darlene's hair looks all the same length to me, which is disappointing. Lauren is totes Cindy Williams.
I guess what looked on the front cover as a half ponytail on Jodi is really just a super perky full ponytail. Also, she's pretty stacked for an 11 year old. Cindi looks way ugly in the face, and has something weird going on with her vag. Lauren looks about 5, and has some weird ass bumps all over her body. She should get that shit checked out, yo.
Sorry the spacing's messed up on this, Blogger's being dumb.